In the past week I’ve witnessed two companies defending themselves against criticism by basically calling their customers naive idiots. First, it was the Coca-Cola corporation who came under fire for it’s contribution to the obesity epidemic (because apparently only now is that something we’re learning). It turns out that Vitamin Water, one of Coca-Cola’s products, is not as healthy as its marketing suggests. In response to this revelation and its attendant outrage on the part of the public Coke defended itself by asking, in effect, “Why would you imbeciles ever believe that Vitamin Water was a healthy beverage?”
Today, it’s Subway who has come under fire because apparently some of their footlong sandwiches are less than a footlong. Their response: “footlong” is merely “a descriptive name for the sub…not intended to be a measurement of length.” I don’t know about you, but when I use “foot” or “footlong” as a descriptive I mean it in the way that I mean any standard unit of measurement. Dear Subway, no one ever thought you weren’t using “footlong” in any other sense than descriptive, they just thought that when you used it (without quotation marks, to be sure) you used it in the sense that everyone else uses it. But I get, we’re the idiots for thinking that your use of a standard unit of measurement was the standard use.